How Community Helped Me Grieve A Major Life Change
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We’re at the start of new year and for some of us, that means grieving the last year. If we’re being honest, life’s been a rollercoaster for many since 2020, and now we’ve marked the middle of the decade with 2025. Reflecting, I’ve realized that community has really helped sustained me. Not just over the past five years, but throughout my adulthood.
Community, synonymous with tribe, refers to a special group of people who simply mesh with each other. In other words, you just get each other. In a world where social media creates long lasting connections with like minded individuals, it’s safe to say that several communities have been birthed because of the influence of the internet. Whether you share similar beliefs or views, have the same taste in fashion, culture, or values – community is for everyone. Experiencing a sense of connection, be it a large or small setting, instills a feeling of belonging, which is at the core of the human experience.
Believe it or not, everyone is a part of some sort of community. Yes, even you. How amazing is it to know that you have the ability to create connections and develop trust amongst others that share similar interests and thoughts? When you’re able to put your fears of what others may think, you feel a sense of purpose in knowing that you can be yourself around others who truly see you.
Grieving a Major Life Change with the Help of Community
In 2015, I dared to follow my heart and relocate to the city that had captivated my imagination since the tender age of six: New York City! A young woman with a passion for creativity and grand aspirations, I was certain that this bustling metropolis was where I belonged. The challenge, however, was that, aside from a handful of family members, I knew no one in the city. It was a fresh start in every sense, requiring me to step out of my comfort zone. Surprisingly, my confidence soared to new heights during this period. Leveraging the power of social media and online communities, I introduced myself to both locals and fellow newcomers. Soon enough, making connections became second nature, and the people I resonated with quickly became my community.
Creating a community isn’t a one-sided effort; it’s a dynamic exchange. I’d meet one person, and it set off a ripple effect as that individual introduced me to someone else, creating a chain of connections. Not every encounter resulted in a perfect match, but when that feeling of belonging and authenticity emerged, I knew a genuine connection had been forged.
As individuals, fostering human connections is vital for our personal development. Discovering your community and establishing strong relationships not only encourages openness in sharing, but also facilitates a receptiveness to learning from others. Sharing past struggles and emotions with those who can empathize enables personal growth and establishes a more resilient sense of self.
Over the past decade or so, social media has really done a great job in highlighting the power certain communities play in navigating challenging circumstances. From the Black Lives Matter movement to the collective efforts to uplift humanity during the peak of the pandemic, a safe space was created where people were able to freely express themselves by making their voice heard. Communities usually have an outstanding crisis response which focuses on rallying together to provide collective support, resources, and aid in times of crisis. It has been found that rallying together collectively has fared much better than individual efforts.
In order to find a community that suits your values and beliefs, you must first put yourself out there. Communities are not one size fits all. Some may be small and intimate, while others are expansive. It’s meant to be a safe space where you are surrounded by friends, family, and those that make up your neighborhood – a place where judgment is non-existent. Identify what suits you best and make sure you embrace whichever experience comes your way. With community comes fellowship, and with fellowship comes open doors, and with open doors comes new opportunities. Whether you’re looking for the perfect position or you’re looking to stand up for what you believe in, those around you can offer the support required for a successful outcome.
Without my own community, I wouldn’t have developed a strong sense of self and the confidence to comfortably navigate spaces I previously deemed unfamiliar. The people I connected with quickly became my family away from home, providing a comforting environment where I could truly be myself—a freedom I often felt lacked in my hometown. Community played a significant role during my parents’ chaotic divorce, providing me with support and comfort during my stint with grief. Divorce is emotionally challenging, and even at 27 years old, the separation of my parents deeply affected me.
Being miles away in an entirely different state while my parents were undergoing a divorce I didn’t see coming in a million years added an extra layer of weight to the situation. Fortunately, the community I built with others helped alleviate that heaviness. While I still experienced the hurt and grief, I didn’t have to navigate through it alone. My strong network of friends checked in on me constantly, ensuring I stayed active and engaged to clear my mind. I’m forever thankful for these connections because without a healthy community, my grieving process might have taken a completely different shape. Even in moments of sorrow, I found support, understanding, and a safe space to express my emotions with the family I created away from home. Their non-judgmental approach towards how I grieved the separation of my parents allowed me to approach the situation with an entirely different outlook when it was time to go home for the holidays.
Prior to returning home, I felt like I had to choose either my mom or my dad and that wasn’t something I had the heart to do. Having to pick a side was scary. I walked on eggshells whenever I would reach out to call, trying my best not to say anything out of line. I held a bit of resentment in my heart when I spoke to my mom because this was initiated on her behalf, not realizing at the time that the situation probably was difficult for her also. Being able to express myself around those within my community without a filter and without judgment helped me process what was happening and progress in navigating the change. The more I spoke about my feelings with those around me, the easier it became to speak with my parents without projecting feelings and easier to understand their sides of the story – an adult story that previously wasn’t on display for children to openly understand. The healing didn’t happen overnight and it definitely still hurt, but having my family away from home pour into me as my tears poured out made the journey all the more easier.
In essence, community is the fabric that weaves individuals into a shared tapestry of support, growth, and shared experiences. It plays a fundamental role in the human experience, making substantial contributions to the well-being and progress of both individuals and society. If I didn’t have my community of close friends away from home during my grieving period, I am honestly not too sure how I would’ve coped then, or even in the new season of who I’ve evolved into now. Because of those strong connections that were created, I knew no matter my situation – I belonged and began to move in such a manner.
Where you have community, you also have a voice to be heard and I’m so blessed to have a tribe who listened.
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How Community Helped Me Grieve A Major Life Change was originally published on elev8.com